So, I’m reading this book called Upstate by Kalisha Buckhanon.
Goggle or Bing it. It’s pretty good.

Okay, being the total nerd that I am, after reading, like, the first ten pages I skipped to the last page and read the last paragraph. Sad thing was that the girl in the letter was telling her boyfriend to never come to see her because she might run away with him and she didn’t want to see him. But just from the first ten pages you can tell that these two bastards are in bone grinding love. So when I read that, I was like: “OMIGOSH how does that happen?!” So now, I burn even more to read the book. It’s good, I’m at part three already. But, dun worry, I got four more books from the library to read when I’m done. Upstate is relatively small but the font isn’t all huge like bigger books. Plus Upstate is an urban romance, I haven’t read a black urban story in quite some time. I want to write about black urban problems, so this was really mind fuckingly good.

AWESOME.
Homecoming dance is tomorrow!
I’m still mad because there’s this boy that I wanna talk to. I had it planned out to talk to him Thursday (because today we didn’t have school and I wanted to know that I had everything planned out), but I couldn’t find him during lunch. Plus everyone I asked don’t know who he is and the only person who does is my best friend Dennis and he says that he doesn’t have his priorities straight. But man, if you guys saw his body you wouldn’t give a fuck. I like muscular men. That’s what he is. He has these pretty just brown eyes. Plus he has locks, not the kind that are all dirty and unkept looking or all neat and girlie looking, but rugged looking that says: “Man, I’ma thug I ain’t got no time to be doin’ my hair like sum bitchass nigga but I make sure I dun look like no fiend offa street.” Plus he’s not too dark and he’s not too light. He’s not ridiculous tall. He’s a football player. He’s a senior—so chances stand he’s prolly a couple of months older than me or plus. And did I mention he looks sexy?

And I’m saying he looks sexy in clothes, so God knows he prolly looks sexy without them.
I’m not gonna tell y’all what I was thinking about last nite, either. [insert blushes here]

Thursday was our last day of school and, letting irony permit, I started getting congested. I had to go to the nurse’s office twice within a three hour span. It sucks that I might be getting a cold when I really wanna go to the dance tomorrow. So around fourth period, which is the last period for us (we got a A-Day/B-Day schedule), I wasn’t too good. Plus I ran outta’ happy pills, so I was a little moody. I had interior design and I don’t know many people in that class, which pisses me off cuz I hate being in a class and not having anyone to talk to. I hate just sitting there like a loser or whatever. But I sat alone; my excuse was that I wasn’t feeling well. Last A-Day, I had a pair of scissors. It’s preschooler, true, but I was pissed because every time I let someone use it they never brought it back and I hadda’ keep getting another pair of scissors. So Thursday the first person who asked, I told him to use it right there. He got smart with me and walked away. Now his little “posse” was being rude to me when I went up to get it back.

“There are otha’ scissors, ya’know.” One of his lil’ bitch crony said when they were being immature and didn’t wanna give me the scissors.
I shoulda’ said, “Yea, so gimmie mine and go git your own.”
But instead I stuttered and repeated a, “I need t-those. They work, t-the otha’ dun.”

UGH.
See, that’s what happens when I dun take my anti-anxiety pills Lexapro. I get all disoriented and slow and shit. Fuck me.
So, next time they gimmie shit, I’ma be ready with a comeback.

I KNOW what I’m wearing to Homecoming.
I got this pretty cheetah dress that I’ve been dying to wear for ages. I gotta wear a cami under it cuz my boobies gonna pop out, but that’s fine. It enunciates my phatty. I love animal prints anyway, or any kind of prints now that I think of it. That’s what I’ma wear. Unfortunately, I haven’t got my chest tat yet, so it ain’t gonna be the same. But I ain’t got no school on Monday, so maybe that’ll work.

I wanted to get my tat today since no school, but blah. I ain’t get out the house. I spent the day reading and sleeping and cleaning. Blah.

SO. Updates after Homecoming?
It’s a date.
Hopefully, I’ll have a name of that smexi crush of mine by then too.